We have a new home. And with it, all the attendant physical and emotional turmoil of moving at my age. I am surrounded by boxes, and tormented by the seemingly endless decisions to “keep” or “let go.” (Do I really still need the hand written notes from my doctoral dissertation? Apparently, yes, I do). One of the indelible memories of this move is the 2022 World Series playing in the background as we packed. A wonderful diversion from the chaos, our …
Category: stress
One of the conflicts most often brought to my office is about the division of labor in the family. Pain and resentment can accumulate and run deep over who does what around the home, and with the children. Partners can feel devalued, and taken advantage of. Particularly with both partners working outside of the home, the question arises: What does it take to make a family household run? Some years ago, I became aware of the notions of physical labor …
Colleagues and I discuss how never to have a conversation, and the toxic nature of communication in this week’s presidential debate. Read the full article from The Atlantic: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/09/trump-biden-debate-communication/616553/ …
Today I read one of the most helpful articles on dealing with COVID 19 in The Harvard Business Review. Staff’s shared reflections about their collective “queasy, anxious” feelings lead to an interview with noted expert on grief, David Kessler. This is a time to overprotect but not overreact. Kessler, the author of Finding Meaning: the Sixth Stage of Grief and founder of grief.com shares his thoughts about why it is so important to acknowledge and name what we’re feeling as …
I’m sharing this terrific article by Jennifer Senior in today’s NY Times on negotiating issues around the coronavirus and how this process exposes the inevitable “power struggle” inherent in relationships. The author’s summation, “remember, you both are right,” lays bare this dynamic, and she shares some spot on advice. Senior goes to noted couples therapist Esther Perel for her take on the situation: “If you polarize and you think that there’s only one way to do things,” she said, “it’s …
As a family therapy clinician and teacher, I am constantly talking about the importance of relationships. I’m thus thrilled when those outside of my specialty acknowledge that as well – especially when it comes from my colleagues and collaborators in the medical community. In “Why Your Cardiologist should ask about your Love Life,” Dr. Sandeep Jauhar discusses the link between heart health and our emotional and relational worlds: We have learned, for example, that fear and grief can cause serious cardiac injury. During …
Each year around this time, conversations with clients turn to the predictable stress of time with family over the holidays. Like ghosts in the night, old issues, long dormant, reappear at holiday time. How is it that an adult with partner and children can walk into their parents’ home and instantly feel 10 years old again? The anticipation of a holiday encounter can lead any adult to feel slightly unhinged in a way that few other situations do. Let’s face …
Join colleagues at Penn Medicine and CHOP for this exciting panel, lead by transgender activist and family therapist, DR. ELIJAH NEALY. They will address the importance of family therapy in the treatment of transgender young adults. Dr. Nealy will be joined by Jacqueline HUDAK, PhD., LMFT, The Center for Couples and Adult Families, Perelman School of Medicine, Linda HAWKINS, Ph.D., Gender and Sexuality Development Clinic, CHOP, and Benoit DUBÉ, MD, Perelman School of Medicine. Wednesday, September 28th, 2016 6-8PM 16th Fl., 3535 Market Street Philadelphia, PA 19104 …
I had a wonderful time presenting to physicians, nurses, social workers and psychologists at The Reading Hospital this spring. The audience wanted to understand the meaning of emotional cutoff and the impact of this process on development and family relationships over the course of the life cycle. Always true to my training as a family therapist, I began with my family genogram, and a story about my father’s cutoff from his family of origin. This happened when I was two years old …
