I’m hesitant to give “tips” for relationships. I’m asked fairly often to do so, but I find the notion of “tips” reductionistic – couples and families can be really complex. I tend to encourage clients to consider where they are in the family life cycle, and the challenges of the developmental tasks at hand. This involves generative conversations which give way to more nuanced, expansive thinking. But when I find such a concise and helpful piece of writing by …
Category: Gender
One of the conflicts most often brought to my office is about the division of labor in the family. Pain and resentment can accumulate and run deep over who does what around the home, and with the children. Partners can feel devalued, and taken advantage of. Particularly with both partners working outside of the home, the question arises: What does it take to make a family household run? Some years ago, I became aware of the notions of physical labor …
In the not too distant past, the notion of a gay marriage or family was, more or less, an oxymoron. The field of Couple and Family Therapy has evolved over time to critique the heteronormative values and assumptions applied to LGBTQ couples and families. We celebrate and nurture queer youth , and cultivate pride and joy with transgender youth and their families. A wonderful addition to this body of work is summarized in Stephanie Coontz’s OpEd in last week’s Sunday Times, …
Being a systemic therapist requires ongoing analysis of the ways in which power dynamics organize and shape the life-long relational dances in couples and families. Experiences of privilege and marginalization in the cultural landscape are critical to the daily lived experience of our clients, and impact their relationships in profound ways. In working with our Psychiatry residents at Penn, I welcome writing that fosters clarity about the influence of these complex, often silenced, aspects of power. Once again, my friend …
As a family therapy clinician and teacher, I am constantly talking about the importance of relationships. I’m thus thrilled when those outside of my specialty acknowledge that as well – especially when it comes from my colleagues and collaborators in the medical community. In “Why Your Cardiologist should ask about your Love Life,” Dr. Sandeep Jauhar discusses the link between heart health and our emotional and relational worlds: We have learned, for example, that fear and grief can cause serious cardiac injury. During …
I’m so pleased to share this recently published book by my friend and colleague, Dr. Saliha Bava, and her partner, Mark Greene. Although we might agree in theory that parenting is indeed a relational endeavor, our language belies this perspective. For example, we describe the child as “oppositional defiant” as though she existed in a relational vacuum, without that ‘other’ person she must oppose. Diagnostic criteria focuses on the individual and obscures the parts of the relational system that promote imbalance …
Family historian, Stephanie Coontz, is admittedly one of my favorites. Former President of The Council on Contemporary Families, Dr. Coontz brings a much needed perspective to our cultural discourses about marriage and family life. Her capacity to mine enormous bodies of data and expose trends about the current state of relationships is remarkable – and very much needed. The landscape of marriage and family is not easy to navigate, and I’m grateful for her clarity and perspective. In that spirit (and because …
Each year around this time, conversations with clients turn to the predictable stress of time with family over the holidays. Like ghosts in the night, old issues, long dormant, reappear at holiday time. How is it that an adult with partner and children can walk into their parents’ home and instantly feel 10 years old again? The anticipation of a holiday encounter can lead any adult to feel slightly unhinged in a way that few other situations do. Let’s face …
Join colleagues at Penn Medicine and CHOP for this exciting panel, lead by transgender activist and family therapist, DR. ELIJAH NEALY. They will address the importance of family therapy in the treatment of transgender young adults. Dr. Nealy will be joined by Jacqueline HUDAK, PhD., LMFT, The Center for Couples and Adult Families, Perelman School of Medicine, Linda HAWKINS, Ph.D., Gender and Sexuality Development Clinic, CHOP, and Benoit DUBÉ, MD, Perelman School of Medicine. Wednesday, September 28th, 2016 6-8PM 16th Fl., 3535 Market Street Philadelphia, PA 19104 …
CCAF Clinical director, Jacqueline Hudak, will present on a panel about “The Changing Family” during Penn Spectrum Weekend. Held during alumni weekend, Penn Spectrum “brings together alumni for dialogue centered on issues of cultural identity. We welcome alumni and allies from all backgrounds as well as current Penn undergraduate and graduate students. The conference focuses on issues pertinent to the Black, Latinx, Native, Asian, and LGBTQ alumni and student communities.” For a full schedule of events, check out the link here. …
